Disclaimer: This is going to be, by far, the longest post on here I have written. So even if you decide to read it, you will most likely lose interest by the end unless you are terribly interested in Hey Arnold! But this post, unlike most of my others, isn’t for you. This is for me, in the purest form. My soul has literally caught fire and these thoughts haven’t escaped my mind for a second. So I will tell you, even though I say this post isn’t for you, if you were ever interested at the core of my being, then this would be the post to read. Out of everything I have ever written, all of the confessions about my life and junk, it is this post about a 90s cartoon that is closest to my heart. And maybe in the end, that’ll interest you a little.

Episode 1 through Cancellation: An In-Depth Look at Hey Arnold!

Hey Arnold!: My favorite cartoon as a child. No doubt about it. Sure Rugrats, Rocket Power, and Doug were all amazing as well. But Hey Arnold! is really just something else. The main plot documents the experiences and troubles of a fourth grader named Arnold with an oddly shaped head. Set in what is a mockery of New York City, Arnold and his friends face urban legends, school problems, and basically just…life. Recently, just out of fun and nostalgia, I decided to re-watch a large portion of the series. I bought season 1 off iTunes and found the series to watch on Youtube. And…its been different watching this show as an adult. Things are hardly ever innocent all on their own, but rather only gain innocence because we perceive them that way. And once we take that away we see the truth that has been staring at us in the face.

I remember reading “To Kill A Mockingbird” in junior year of high school. When I went through it, I focused so much on Scout and her growth. She was the main character. However, when our teacher was analyzing it for us he told us how the book itself really isn’t a coming-of-age novel about Scout, but rather for her brother Jem. How it is Jem who faces that irreversible trend of life and grows up into an adult. I never really saw it that way but once I was told that, it made a lot of sense…and well after watching Hey Arnold! through again I’ve seen a similar pattern. There is the main hero, Arnold, who is vital to the story. But close in the background is another character we see equally as vividly- Helga G. Pataki.

Helga was extremely easy to identify as a child. She was an angry, tough girl on the outside but on the inside she was mushy, soft, and caring. She has a gross monobrow and a pink bow. And most importantly, she is madly in love with Arnold! And it always just seemed that Helga followed the same pattern…she would be mean to Arnold, then talk to herself about how much she loved him. But one thing that my eyes definitely skipped over as a child was Helga’s family. And I think Helga’s situation comes to light most in the episode “Helga on the Couch.”

Episode Link 1 and Episode Link 2 and Episode Link 3

In this episode, a therapist by the name of Dr. Bliss visits PS 118 just to observe the school as a whole. But after seeing Helga’s behavior, she suggests to Principal Wartz that Helga goes to therapy sessions with her. Helga does, and the rest of the episode is about their discussions together. We get to see some moments from Helga’s childhood that helped make her the person she is today. But first I think its important to talk about her family in general.

Helga’s mom’s name is Miriam. She is a housewife. She is always sleepy and a little ditzy. I always liked Miriam as a child because I found her dopey antics cute and endearing. But I never EVER realized the real reasons behind it all. Back then I probably didn’t even know what an alcoholic was, let alone that the mother of Helga G. Pataki was one. Her constant need of sleep, always forgetting things, her slurred speech. It is so OBVIOUS! Also, Miriam LOVES smoothies, she is always making them! In one episode, when Big Bob Pataki sells all of the family’s things, she clings on desperately to her blender and it has to be pried out of her hands. And when they get all of their stuff back, the first thing she looks for is her blender. Also in Helga on the Couch, when Miriam and Bob are scolding Helga for having to go to therapy (“We Patakis don’t talk things out, we sweep them under the rug!”) Miriam eventually walks out stating, “I need a smoothie…” Well how many things do we watch as an adult where something goes wrong and a character says, “I need a drink…” This isn’t even subtle! And maybe it was obvious and already known to everyone but me, but I had no idea until I re-watched this show. I thought she was just a goof…

So then the question to ask is why? Why is Miriam this way when she seems to have a normal, happy life around her? These answers can mainly be found in the episodes “Olga Gets Engaged” and “Beeper Queen.”  

In Olga gets Engaged Olga, Helga’s sister, gets engaged (duh). She decides to give up her dreams and quit school to marry this guy she met a few weeks prior. And what is Miriam’s reaction to this? “No, no, no…! Don’t make the same mistake I made!”

Miriam regrets her choices. She regrets giving up everything she had going for her to marry Bob. But this made me think, “But Miriam is useless anyways, what would she even have going for her? She can’t do anything right…” But that is wrong. Miriam was a lot like Olga before she married Bob. She had amazing talent and drive. For example, later in the same episode, Miriam is talking to Douglas, Olga’s fiance. She proudly states, “Well, I don’t like to brag but I used to be an Olympic class swimmer.” An Olympic class swimmer? That means she was ridiculously good! Also, in the episode Road Trip, Miriam participates in a bull riding competition and wins. This amazes Helga, and Miriam states, “Well, I used to be state bull riding champ when I was a kid.” Helga declares, “You never told me that!” to which Miriam responds, “There’s lots of things I haven’t told you about myself.” 

So then, if Miriam was this amazing Olga-like person, where did it all go…? Simple…down the drain when she married Big Bob Pataki. Bob took it away from her. Bob suppressed Miriam upon their marriage. He made Miriam’s role the housewife. But this isn’t how she imagined her life, so she became depressed. And the best way for her to deal with that depression was…alcohol. Its sad, really…even in an interview creator Craig Bartlett stated how Miriam is the manifestation of “unlocked potential.” And we see in The Beeper Queen what COULD have been if that potential was expressed.

In The Beeper Queen, Big Bob throws out his back. But he has important meetings coming up, so he needs someone to take care of his business while he is stuck at home. He first asks Helga to do it (funny how he would rather trust her with his entire business than Miriam) but Miriam volunteers to do it. So for a little while, Miriam runs Big Bob’s Beepers. And what happens?

She becomes professional, hard-working, and efficient. Her speech is faster, her reactions more precise. Basically you can tell in every way possible that she stops drinking. She lays off the alcohol because she got back what she had to give up when she married Bob: a chance. And we see that Miriam is actually amazing at what she does. In fact, she is better than Bob! We get to see the Miriam that could have been had she been able to pursue what she wanted. 

Also take note of the three color choices of Miriam’s clothes. She initially wears a very light purple that seems very weak, tired, etc. Then as she starts to get to work again, her suit is a sort of maroonish purple/red in-between. And finally she gets a bright red dress. It’s a gradual change from her alcoholic, recessive personality to her dominant, energetic one. And even when she is being held up by all the men, the colors of the stairs and curtain in the background are a purple and maroon similar to her earlier clothes. In that very moment she conquered all of her past troubles. However, Bob’s back eventually heals. Miriam goes back to being a housewife and once again, an alcoholic. And she is stuck there for eternity, a.k.a the rest of the series.

So then, what does this all mean for Helga? Well Helga’s relationship with Miriam is obviously extremely damaged due to Miriam’s alcoholism. Miriam has never been able to be an effective mother to Helga. She screws up Helga’s lunch constantly. She forgets her name, always calling her Olga. In the episode Buses, Bikes, and Subways Helga gets stuck at a chocolate factory with Harold and when she calls home for help, Miriam is passed out on the kitchen table and misses the call. As Helga exclaims, “GEEZ Miriam, can’t you do anything right?!”

Helga has to do things herself, even make her own lunch. She states, “If I don’t do it, nobody else will.” And that basically summarizes everything for Helga…if she doesn’t take care of herself, her mother isn’t going to do it for her. Poor Helga…

So if her mother is eternally drowned in her own regrets and depression, then what is her dad?

Big Bob Pataki is a manly man. He is huge, loves football, etc. He is the head of Bob’s Beeper Emporium, of which he acts as the mascot “king” for. In terms of personality, Bob is actually…almost identical to Helga. He is very aggressive and pushy, devalues the opinions of others around him, and orders everybody to do things for him. However, there is one key difference. While Helga acts that way only on a surface level to hide her inner pains, this is who Big Bob is as a whole. He is a completely two-dimensional character. We never learn much of his past, unlike Miriam. And we never really see any progression of his character for the future. But there are things that we can assume just based off of his chemistry as a father and businessman.

He needs power. He needs to be the king. Just as I stated before, he has completely dominated Miriam so that he can be the breadwinner of the family and feel proud of himself. The thing about Bob though is that his success with his beeper company is not something that came naturally. It is very forced, through aggression and constant turmoil and stress. Bob fights against any possibilities of him just being regular, and he doesn’t give up until he is confirmed to be better than others. Once again, this may be stating things totally obvious to the average viewer but its important to summarize Miriam and Bob right next to each other. After analysis you come to realize they are polar opposites: the manifestation of unlocked potential, and the manifestation of forced success. One has all the talent but no opportunity; the other has no specific talent but makes opportunity.

In terms of his relationship with Helga, Bob is very distant. He isn’t one to show affection in the first place, but what Helga and Bob have is much more business than family. They talk to each other only when they need something, like a business meeting. Bob doesn’t really know the simplest of facts about Helga, like how she is deathly allergic to strawberries. They have a sort of silent mutual agreement that in order to deal with Miriam’s incapabilities, they will just have a sort of truce. They will never complain about their relationship or worry too much about being father/daughter. They both just have the aim of making things as comfortable as they can for themselves. Which is a very different relationship than the one you see between Bob and Helga’s sister Olga.

I talked about Olga when I was explaining how much talent Miriam had when she was younger. Well Olga, Miriam and Bob’s first daughter and Helga’s older sister, is basically the Miriam that was. Apparently, crossing the genes of unlocked potential x forced success = perfect being, because that is what Olga is. She inherited all of Miriam’s talents, but also Bob’s opportunities. Olga is brilliant, she is pretty, kind, a great cook, and a wonderful pianist.

But this poses a problem…because the Patakis have another child by the name of Helga who isn’t brilliant, pretty, good at cooking, or playing the piano. The resulting chemistry…does not work out so well. In fact…okay well first it is important to note something. Obviously, Big Bob’s and Miriam’s problems are the result of a dysfunctional marriage that most likely existed before they had either of their children, so I wouldn’t say everything is Olga’s fault. But I am sure her birth definitely made the problem grow exponentially, since it gave Bob the perfect excuse to confine Miriam to home so he could keep his throne. But more of a problem than Olga’s birth is her adult personality.

Because Olga is amazing at everything, it has invoked such strong feelings of love and pride from Bob and Miriam. Make sure you know though, these proud feelings from each parent are for separate reasons: Bob is glad that he has an heir that will definitely bring honor and money to the Pataki name after he is gone. Meanwhile, Miriam sees herself in Olga, or rather the Miriam that could have been, and she is so glad that Olga will be able to live the dreams that she never got to. So both parent has this deep affection for Olga’s success because Olga satisfies each of their personal, selfish desires. Just look at the picture above from the episode Olga Comes Home. Bob is beaming with pride, and Miriam is whimsically imagining Olga’s future in her head. However, later in the episode when Olga thinks she got a B+ on one grade and falls into a deep depression, the compositions of Bob and Miriam change. Bob falls back into the same mood that we always see him treat Helga with: anger and disapproval. And Miriam goes back into, you guessed it, her own depression. Just take a look at this conversation between the two of them.

Bob: I just can’t stand to see her [Olga] like this…B+… (A sentence that initially may seem like Bob is showing concern for his daughter’s well-being, but that last little grumble there shows that he is actually saying he can’t stand to see her failing. Even the slightest hiccup in her progress is unbearable to look at.)

Miriam: Leave her alone B, she’s depressed… (Miriam sees herself in Olga, right? And at this moment, both Miriam and Olga are depressed. So Miriam telling Bob to leave her alone is also an indirect way of letting him, or us the audience, know that she wishes Bob would just leave her alone.)

Bob: Its been a whole day, she can’t just lay around the house moping like that! (Can’t waste any time when it comes to maintaining the Pataki name.)

Miriam: Sure she can…I do. (Holy CRAP adult situation in a kid’s cartoon! Just…so simply sad.)

Both Miriam and Bob…although I am sure they are good people at their core, are too distracted by their own inner issues to be effective parents, especially to Helga. And the main reason is because Olga is so perfect and gives them both the hope that their dreams will be accomplished. And it makes Olga seem annoying, like a mushy little miss know-it-all. But I think the saddest part about Olga is that she really hasn’t done anything specifically wrong. She has just tried hard in her life and done well. She is incredibly sweet and lady-like. But she is effectively giving fuel to the fire of Helga’s hell.

So now after that incredibly long detour, we can go back to the episode Helga on the Couch. We know now the separate roles Miriam, Bob, and Olga play in the family and how they choose to fulfill them, but its time to look at how these factors transformed Helga’s perception of self and worth. Well once in her therapy session with Dr. Bliss, Helga proves to be extremely uncooperative. She just messes around and tries to avoid talking about anything related to her family or Arnold. But Dr. Bliss is very crafty and manipulates Helga into feeling comfortable. She allows Helga to have the seat of power in the session for a while, putting Helga into her comfort zone of being on top and giving commands.

And so eventually, Bliss gets Helga to talk. She first asks Helga to discuss what her family is like overall, and we get this mental image.

It is in black-and-white to mimic an old 60s style show that depicts the perfect family. Its completely unrealistic; look at how happy each of them are, their hands linked, laughing. But this is what Helga thinks. And most importantly, she isn’t there. This fantasy exists when she is out of the picture. And when she comes into the picture…

Things go back to color, to reality. Olga still looks happy, but Bob and Miriam…not so much. Look at the complete “What the eff do you want?” look on Bob’s face as Helga is asking a question. According to Helga, as long as she’s in the family, the 1960s fantasy cannot exist. Helga then recalls a specific memory from her childhood: her first day of preschool. She needed a ride to school but…

Bob and Miriam are too busy paying attention to Olga, too busy listening to Olga play the piano to give Helga the ride. Look at Bob once again, his reaction to Helga pulling his pant leg. He looks like he’s disgusted because some rabid dog is at his feet. Helga begs and pleas for a ride, but neither parent is willing to even listen to her. She ends up walking alone, as a preschooler. She is a five-year-old living in what is essentially New York City, and her parents made her walk alone to school.

Plus a wild dog comes and attacks her and steals her lunch…

And things…never changed for Helga, even as she grew up.

All of this neglect has been going on for Helga’s entire life. And the result is an incredibly pessimistic viewpoint of her own importance, and a stigmatized view of both her parents and her sister.

As made apparent throughout the entire series, Helga doesn’t like to listen to anyone. Whenever someone asks something of her or slightly lets her down, she flips her lid and gets super angry.  This is perhaps why Phoebe, her best friend, is perfect for Helga. Phoebe listens to every command. She hardly ever has an opinion of her own, and if she does she shares it in a very careful way. Usually Helga will just shoot her down anyways, and Phoebe won’t fight back, she’ll just agree. Helga needs a pushover since she’s been pushed over.

Helga’s inability to be directed and told what to do is especially prevalent with adults. As seen in the episode Helga and the Nanny, Helga is unwilling to listen to an adult for even a second. Her nanny, a European by the name of Inga, is actually a very good nanny.

She gives Helga nutritional food, teaches her how to sew, packs her amazing lunches, and even makes her look really pretty! But Helga hates all of it and does whatever she can to rebel. The thing is though, all that Inga teaches Helga is not far off from what Helga’s peers know and were taught growing up. In fact all of Helga’s friends, including Arnold, really like Inga and what she does. So Helga has no need to hate anything that Inga is doing out of ridicule or embarrassment. It is only because Helga feels she lost her chance to have any genuine relationship with an adult when her parents chose to neglect her, and she doesn’t want to even try anyone else in fear of being hurt again. So what does Helga do? She hides Bob’s lucky belt and frames Inga for stealing it. Inga knows what Helga has done but doesn’t even try to reveal the truth. So, Bob fires Inga. Notice how he is dressed in his king outfit.

At first Helga is happy that she was able to cast out the annoying adult influence in her life, but later that night she has a nightmare. 

She sees Inga sitting in the park with ragged clothes, shivering and living off of bread crumbs that she has to fight from pigeons. No one will hire Inga since she has the reputation of being a thief. Helga’s subconscious feels extremely guilty for what she’s done, because deep down inside she really didn’t want to hurt Inga…it is just how she reacts because of her fears. The next day Helga actually does visit the park and Inga is there - although in normal clothes. Inga tells Helga how no one will hire a common criminal to be their nanny, and so she is going back to Europe to perhaps look for work there. And then she just gets up and leaves. If you think about it, what Helga did is absolutely awful…she completely ruined this woman’s life. But you can’t get mad at Helga either…it is just how things played out. The last thing Inga says to Helga is, “You are such an angry girl, Helga. But you won’t let anyone help you. So you must live with your unhappiness.” Those are the consequences of Helga’s actions. And the saddest scene probably comes from the very last shot of the episode.

Helga sits on her bed, practicing what Inga taught her. This last shot breaks my heart…Helga regrets what she did to Inga. She misses her. But now because of what she did, Inga is gone and never coming back. So Helga is holding onto what little she can from Inga’s stay…because all Helga wants is a caring adult. Because all she wanted her entire life was for her parents to talk to her, to give her direction, to take care of her. But since she didn’t get that from even them, she can’t take it from anyone. So that is how she deals with adults in her life.

But how about her relationship with her sister? Well Helga resents Olga, and its easy to see why. But Olga loves Helga. She actually shows her attention and care, and is always so happy to see Helga. But come on, Olga is basically the reason Helga’s life is miserable. So she tries dealing with her sister’s existence in three ways. The first is to destroy her. In Olga Comes Home, it is Helga who secretly changes Olga’s grade from an A to a B+, in the hopes of blemishing her record.

This results in Helga’s subconscious making her feel extremely guilty in a way similar to what happened with Inga. Even though Olga has ruined everything for Helga, Helga can’t truly hate Olga because she was the only one to care. And deep down, Helga cares back.

The second route Helga tries to take is to live up to her legacy. In Spelling Bee, Helga works towards winning the state spelling bee, a victory Olga accomplished at her age.

Well during the spelling bee Bob tries to bribe Arnold into losing, much to Helga’s dismay. Once she realizes that Bob doesn’t truly believe in her abilities and that he never will, she purposely loses to piss him off and continue her role as the failure child.

And the final way Helga tries to deal with Olga is to surpass her. In Phoebe Takes the Fall, she tries to win an intelligence competition that not even Olga was able to win when she participated; the one empty spot on the trophy shelf.

In order for Helga to participate in the competition, she forces Phoebe to get a wrong answer and let her win. However Helga eventually feels too guilty, once again, to go through with it because Phoebe is one of the few people who listens. And even though on a daily basis Helga abuses Phoebe, like Olga, she DOES care for her.

So Helga is just stuck, no matter what she tries. And I think before going back to Helga on the Couch I want to look at another episode where we see Helga’s subconscious. In the episode Magic Show, Arnold puts on a magic show for his peers. Helga ends up as Arnold’s volunteer for the disappearing trick. To pull a prank on him, she really does disappear. As she is escaping though, she runs into a pole and is knocked unconscious. She then has a dream. In the dream, she no longer exists. And she tries desperately to find someone that actually misses her. But instead, we are presented with all of these images.

You know as a kid, I watched this episode and thought it went something like this: Helga acts horrible to other people, so she is being shown what would happen if she left. Everything would be better off because she has just been that mean. But that isn’t what it really is at all…all of these images of her as a monster, of a parade held in the honor of her absence, of her parents happy and in love again, and of Phoebe replacing her with someone prettier and nicer - EVERY SINGLE IMAGE is just a projection of her own thoughts. It isn’t like something from “A Christmas Carol” where Scrooge was visited by three angels. This nightmare is how Helga sees herself. These are all her day-to-day fears coming true. These are the insecurities that rage on in Helga’s head every day of her life. This poor freaking girl!

So after Dr. Bliss learns of the neglect Helga experienced as a child, she asks, “Well wasn’t there anyone who cared?”

Yes…there was.

Arnold. Arnold has always been there for Helga. From that very first walk to preschool, he took care of her. And from that day on, Helga fell in love with him.

I wonder…Helga’s love for Arnold. Would it be considered true love? OR is it just because he is the only one that can perfectly fill what she has been looking for her entire life? I mean Helga hardly looks at Arnold as an equal, but rather as a savior or God…

Arnold is the only boy that cared for her. He listens to her and gives her advice in almost every episode revolving around her character. I’ll just list a few of the episodes in the series where Arnold helps her: Helga vs Big Patty, Olga Gets Engaged, Helga on the Couch, Phoebe Takes the Fall, Olga Comes Home, Buses, Bikes, and Subways, Arnold’s Valentine, Quantity Time, Beaned, Helga and the Nanny, Helga’s Show, It Girl, and many, many more. Because Arnold listens and offers - the things she has forever wanted from her parents - Helga has replaced them with him. Her love is so deep and fanatical because it is as strong as the love of a child for its parents. Unfortunately, her parent’s love is only a dream. But Arnold’s can still be reality. 

But Helga was ridiculed by her peers at the slightest outwardly expression of her affection for Arnold…(teehee Rhonda’s pigtails are adorable!)

And so with the combination of her horrible family life and her peer’s mockery, the rock solid Helga was born, never again going to put up with anybody’s crap.

Even going back to the theme song for Hey Arnold! Yes the title has Arnold’s name, but who is the one that says it in the intro? Who is the one screaming for his attention? Helga. She needs him…she needs help…she needs love!

Who really is the main character of this show anyways?

But, to relate back to Helga on the Couch, after Bliss pokes and pokes at Helga about Arnold, Helga finally gives in and confesses everything about him. All of it, including the shrines and whatnot. And she asks Bliss, “I guess I’m pretty sick, aren’t I?” 

Bliss confidently responds, “You’re not sick. you feel your feelings very strongly. You’re very creative.” 

And that is Helga. Anything but sick, nothing but a victim.

So…what about Arnold?

Ignoring Arnold as a character would be completely ridiculous. Just as with Helga, we see Arnold on the surface as a very simple person. He is the kindest boy to ever exist on the planet. He doesn’t let his emotions control him, but rather always watches things from a neutral perspective. He tries to stay calm, cool, and collected, but at the same time have fun and joke around with his friends. He is always willing to help people, whether they ask for it or not. He is kind of like a therapist to the whole town, adults and children alike. And everybody loves him!

But you can’t forget one thing about him…he has no parents. And for the most part, this doesn’t seem to affect him all that much. It is rarely brought up for most of the series. But there are a few episodes where it is mentioned…one of the main ones being Parents Day. I’ll be honest with you, I cried watching this episode. To basically summarize, Arnold’s class is having a competition for the kids and their parents called Parents Day.

Except…Arnold doesn’t have them. So he has to go with his grandparents.

Of course, this isn’t the same thing…and we see Arnold actually troubled for once. Not just worried on the surface or kind of sad, but troubled. He misses his real parents…

He still goes to the competition with his grandparents, all mopey and sad. Big Bob Pataki is of course acting like a jerk because he wants to win so badly. So when Arnold beats Helga in one of the games, he exclaims, “We are not gonna let some orphan boy and his ancestors win this parents weekend thing!”

Helga, knowing Arnold is hurt, decides to go and try apologize. But she isn’t the most eloquent or sensitive of people and the apology doesn’t do much to make Arnold feel better…

And so Arnold tells his grandparents he doesn’t want to compete the next day. They are both saddened to not go, but more worried for his well-being. His grandpa goes up to try to talk to him…

When Phil talks to Arnold, Arnold asks him about his parents. And not to hear one of the same fake childhood stories he told Arnold growing up, but the truth. So Phil goes into describing how both of Arnold’s parents were explorers deep in South America. They had many adventures and fell deeply in love.

They eventually got married and had Arnold. The wilderness is no place to raise a child though, so they moved back to the city to begin their new simpler lives with Arnold. But soon enough, they were called back to South America to help stop the spread of a disease that was killing off an entire mountain peoples. They tried not to go…they didn’t want to go…but they had to go, and leave Arnold behind. They walked through that door, only to never return.

And here is why Arnold is the way he is. Not because he simply has no parents, but because of why. They just disappeared. They promised to return, and never did. And there was never any confirmation of their death or of their plane crashing or anything. So he’s waiting. As he says when Phil finishes the story, “So..they could just be lost. And maybe someday…they might come back.” Arnold is holding onto a string of hope and never letting go. He is very neutral to life only partly because of wisdom, but mostly because of a disconnection to the world around him. He feels no importance to fully partake in life until his parents return. It explains why there are so many moments throughout the series where Arnold dreams or daydreams. Until they come back, he is in his own small fantasy…waiting.

The most saddening part is…this is all Arnold can do. Just sit and wait. He is stuck, his problems impossible to fix. So how does this affect him? Well…he makes it his duty to fix whatever problems he can, a.k.a. everyone else’s problems. Thus, Arnold has taken the role of the universal giver. Just to reference an episode, in Deconstructing Arnold, the other kids finally get fed up with his constant advice giving and tell him to mind his own business. So he does…or tries. But during the time that he can only watch his friends get into deeper and deeper trouble, he gets annoyed and begs Gerald multiple times to help them.

His problems are helpless, but dammit if he can do anything to fix others’ problems then he will! Because otherwise, life would be…just too frustrating.

So…that is Arnold.

Now, what does this really have to do with anything? Well, we see a common vein between Helga and Arnold. They are both bound to each other by one major thing: their lack of parents. One may be emotionally lacking and the other physically, but the effect is the same. And these two actually understand each other way more than they may think. Which brings me to the second episode that made me cry: Arnold’s Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving, a time to celebrate families. This should obviously be a sore spot for both Helga and Arnold. The episode begins with the fourth grade class putting on a play of a perfect thanksgiving dinner.

However things are anything but perfect for Arnold and Helga. At Helga’s house, her dad is too focused on football to care.

Her mom is of course screwing up dinner.

And Olga has made a centerpiece that greatly outshines the one that Helga made.

To top it all off, they give Helga a ton of chores to do and don’t even pay attention to what she wants to do.

By the time dinner comes around, Helga is pretty pissed. When they go around telling each other what they are thankful for, Helga states she is thankful for nothing. They urge her to say something, and Bob gives her until the count of three. But she still refuses. So he sends her to her room without any dinner.

But Helga decides rather than going to her room, she is just going to get out of there altogether.

Meanwhile at Arnold’s, his crazy grandma thinks that its actually Fourth of July. So they have to cook hot dogs on top of the roof in freezing weather, and all dress up as famous Americans.

Arnold tries asking them for a normal Thanksgiving, but no one listens to his pleas.

So Arnold gets annoyed, and also decides to leave.

Of course, Arnold and Helga bump into each other. They decide to go together and just…talk. Helga states to herself, “Oh Arnold. If I have anything to be thankful for, its that you exist in my miserable little sphere.”

Both describe how crummy their Thanksgivings were and how they just wish they could have a happy, normal holiday. In this moment, we see Arnold and Helga really connecting to each other. Helga doesn’t work so hard to keep up her usual front, and they are able to discuss the pains that they have in common. Arnold comes up with the idea of visiting Mr. Simmons. Since he wrote about a perfect Thanksgiving, he must be having one!

They go to his house and it initially seems wonderful. So they knock on the door and ask to come in, which he allows.

To Arnold and Helga’s dismay though, Mr. Simmons’ Thanksgiving is just as dysfunctional as either of theirs, and his play was only a delusion. They wonder…why would he work so hard to try to make amazing dinner for such ungrateful, awful people?

The episode is depressing, really. I think it really shows how Thanksgivings go, or at least I can relate to it being horrible. And it gets me questioning…how could Arnold and Helga still live in these conditions? How could they keep pursuing happiness day after day when their situations are so horribly hopeless and depressing? What is it that drives life in Helga despite the fact that she thinks all of existence would be better without her? How can Arnold keep a smile on his face knowing that his parents are most likely dead and he will never get to see them again?

Well, while Arnold and Helga are in the kitchen talking, Mr. Simmons walks in. And they basically ask him, “Why would you do all this for those people?” And he responds,

“I know this isnt perfect, but those special people out there are the ones…that I love. And every year it’s my little project to get them together in a room and try to make us all thankful for the things we got.”

Those words…just really get to me. He loves those people no matter how they act because they are his family. After hearing that and seeing Mr. Simmons’ unselfish love, both Arnold and Helga decide to go home and try again with their families. Helga comes home to Miriam screaming at the police on the phone to find her, Bob getting ready to search in his car, and Olga bawling and making flyers to find her. Once they see Helga is back, they are all so ecstatic and hug her. And Big Bob Pataki says the words that make tears well up in my eyes.

“Since…well since its Thanksgiving I guess this is as good a time as any to tell you…well we’re thankful for you being our daughter and being around the house.”

And Helga smiles. 

Arnold goes home to find all of the Fourth of July decorations ruined. His family then jumps out and reveals a normal Thanksgiving dinner they prepared for him, all welcoming him back.

And Arnold smiles.

Or lets take a quick look at the episode Married, where Arnold and Helga both have dreams about being married to each other and at the end their subconscious selves share this dialogue: 

Arnold: Why are you doing this?! Look, I know you’re not this lazy and cold and uncaring. You may act like that, but deep down I know you’re smart and have feelings!

Helga: I don’t know what you’re talking about…

Arnold: Yes you do Helga! Why can’t you just admit it? You’re not this mean!

Helga: Yes I am…

Arnold: No, you’re not! You’re not!

Helga: Okay, okay!…You’re right. I cant hide it anymore. You’ve seen through my tough, blustery exterior and into my soft, mushy, goodhearted center. It’s true, I’m not this bad. I guess I was just afraid to show my real feelings…but you knew it all along, didnt you? I may be rough around the edges, but deep down I’m a good person and..I don’t hate you. In fact, I sorta like you…

Or how about the part in the episode The Beeper Queen that I discussed earlier, when Miriam has laid off the alcohol and actually spends some time with Helga.

Or the episode Road Trip, where at the end Helga is able to bond with Miriam and have an actual conversation with her.

Or the episode Olga Comes Home, where Helga eventually helps Olga out of her sorrow and they make plans to hang out with each other.

Or the episode Quantity Time when Bob and Helga are able to laugh together at how stupid a musical they are watching is.

Or the end of Helga on the Couch when she has finally found an adult that she can trust, not because she confessed about Arnold to Bliss (Helga had already confessed to Lila in an episode that aired 9 months earlier) but because Bliss just sat and listened to her.

Or how about for Arnold? In the end of the episode Parents Day, he realizes how much his grandparents have been there with him and love him. 

Or the end of the episode Deconstructing Arnold, when everyone realizes how important Arnold is and how much they need him.

Or the end of the episode Fighting Families, when Arnold’s “family” is able to work together and overcome what is thought to be a perfect, normal family.

Or at the end of the episode The Journal, the final episode of the series, where Arnold finds his father’s journal describing their entire past, how much they love him, and a map that tracks their route (Originally this was supposed to lead into “The Jungle Movie,” where Arnold goes to South America and follows the map to try to find his parents, but it was never made).

The point is, its these moments. These little lights that shine through the darkness. The innumerable amount of tiny little stars that brighten the blanket of a night sky. These are the moments that keep people going, whether they are Arnold or Helga, you or me. 

The reason I wrote this post is because of an injustice I saw. You see, as lame or psychotic as this sounds, these people were my friends. I grew up watching this show on a daily basis, going through Arnold’s and Helga’s antics with them, seeing what they were up to, learning lessons as they learned them. And I thought I knew all I could about them, I thought I understood their positions completely. But now as I look back, I realize how little I really knew. How even though they were supposed to be my friends, I was completely ignorant to all the pain and sadness they really had in their hearts.

I thought I knew, I really did.

How often has that happened? We meet hundreds of people in our lifetimes…how often have I been wrong?

When someone asks you about someone you know, you usually give a few sentences about them, some of their dominant traits. And we take an answer like that as sufficient to know the person, to make a judgment upon them. “Oh yeah that girl? Well she got expelled so I wouldn’t hang out with her.”

But how many minutes of everyday are you with a person?

How many days in a week?

How many weeks in a year?

How many years in their lifetime?

How many of their conversations did you hear?

How many of their thoughts did you miss?

We will never, ever, be able to fully know someone. We have no idea how ignorant we are of other people’s lives and positions. Even our best of friends…what we understand about them is pretty insignificant in the entire being of who they are.

So stop.

Stop thinking you get people. Stop judging them as soon as possible. Stop placing them into categories or hierarchies. Stop assuming. Stop being complacent with what you know. Stop being impatient with how they act. Just stop.

Because you could be doing the exact same thing I did to Arnold and Helga. And even though it’s not real, its not right.

God I just can’t stop wondering how often I have done this to real people if I’ve done it to my favorite cartoon characters…

Everyone, really. I urge you so much to just be patient with people. And gentle. Its so bloody important and so obvious to us all but we forget constantly. Love each other.

Love your families. Even if they are abusive like the Patakis. Even if they are eccentric like Arnold’s boarders and grandparents. Because you do have a special connection with them, whether they are related to you by blood or not.

Never give up. Don’t ignore those little moments that gave you a smile even if the entire episode was cold and miserable. Those moments are what you should be fighting for.

Always Remember. No matter what position you are in, there will always be someone who understands. An Arnold to your Helga, or vice-versa. Their position may not be identical, but they will be able to sympathize and relate.

And finally, never give up hope. If there is a sliver of a chance, hold onto it.

In the last shot of Parents Day, Arnold has a dream. He looks outside onto the roof of his building and sees the plane that his parents left in, engine on and ready to go.

He goes outside, steps into the plane, puts on some goggles…and flies away. I cried.

Even though The Jungle Movie was never made…I like to think Arnold found his parents, and got his happy ending.

Maybe everything I wrote really was generally understood by everyone and I am just an idiot. Or maybe you think I am over analyzing a children’s cartoon and making a much bigger deal out of it than it really is. That is fine. Because either way, I still wanted to go through and do this. It was important to me.

But I encourage you to really watch these episodes, because my writing or simple pictures cannot do justice to actually watching it. There are motions unseen, beautiful voice acting unheard, etc.

But, if you really did make it this far, thank you. Thank you so much for reading and I hope that you at least got something from this. I realize not many people are as passionate about cartoons from the 90s that I am, but I really think there is a lot to learn in these shows that we used to watch growing up. And we can never learn these lessons enough.

Finally, done. I’ve reached the end of a huge episode, and my fingers can rest. But my mind never will.

(If anyone is curious, this post was 7,830 words long. Post 50: Complete.)